Straight people, we need to talk. There are some things you’re doing lesbians that really need to stop. Here are some of them. Just read and take note, okay? Thanks.
Downplay our struggles:
“I am so over the judgmental comments about how I have been “performing” my marriage by having kids. We’re not alone in our struggle, and it’s time that people start seeing us as normal families who just happen to fall outside of traditional genders roles!
Joke about “becoming a lesbian”:
“It’s not so much a question as it is an admission of defeat. ‘Ugh! I’m done with men maybe the only option left for me are women!’ News flash- they’re just as difficult and stubborn in their own way!! All relationships require communication; there isn’t one type that works better than another when things go wrong or if you want more out your love life.”
Pry into our intimate preferences:
Lesbians have been getting asked the dreaded question, “Why do you use a strap-on if you don’t like penis?”
The most offensive part about this is that it assumes all lesbies are inherently trans exclusionary and not fit in with their gender expression or identity. This also goes for any other person who might be curious as well– GTFO out of our community!
Lesbians can still enjoy penetrative sex. It is not because I wish had a penis, but rather due to my love for feeling connected and giving them pleasure while wearing the strap-on–and if someone confides in you about their sexuality don’t ask any follow up questions ever! Just be thankful that they feel comfortable enough around YOU (the person) where this Disclosure isn’trys concealment
I’m actually writing an article on behalf offasure which will go live soon so make sure.
Project gender stereotypes onto us:
“I was asked the most annoying question by my former boss when I got engaged. ‘In a lesbian relationship, how do you decide which one of you will propose?’ Like…what am i supposed to say? That it’s not really my job and he should just go ahead with whatever because women are always waiting around endlessly anyway?! Such an Evelyn Wood-style thought process they have there.”
Assume we are anything but queer:
“I’m a single, ultra-femme lesbian who is trying to start her own family. My red lips and stiletto heels don’t exactly scream ‘obvious,’ so most people assume I’m straight—even during my previous pregnancies when they asked me if it was intentional or just lucky guessing what gender ours would be! But the question always leaves an awkward silence hanging in place because there’s no answer for this particular queer person other than: yes…we *are* actively seeking children; though not through marriage (yet).
Comment that our girlfriend looks like our sister:
“I can’t tell you how many times I hear people say “you and your sister are so pretty,” like we have a twin or something. It makes me feel terrible because not only do they assume that we’re related but also their comments make it sound as if there’s some kind of love between us when really all these years ago (the woman) was just using my dad for money.”
Act like one of us is “the guy” in the relationship:
“What does the man do in straight relationships?” All answers are at best naive and worse misogynistic.
Challenge our sexuality:
“I’m tired of the way that my sexuality is usually treated. Men don’t believe me when I say ‘no’ to men, and it makes them think either one thing or another- not just about how much time has passed since this person came out as transgender.”
Assume we’ll have a crush on them:
What alex said was right on the money. When I tell people that they’re not my type, and then get upset with them when we both know it’s just an observation of theirs for what kind or person would interest me in life because i am gay/ lesbi-sexual…etc., its almost like revenge sex!
I think this whole mindset towards sexuality needs more awareness so girls can be comfortable enough around men without feeling objectified – especially after something nasty has happened between two parties where one cannot respect another individual’s personal space anymore due to past hurtful words spoken over WhatsApp Messenger (or some other form)
Ask us questions about nonexistent dating protocols:
“I usually tell people neither of us pays on a first date. It can be tricky because we’re both queer and women, so legally I have to say that since it’s our first time going out as friends or whatever–and also guilty as charged!–but really what happens is this: We get dinner for free.”